In one of her lovely posts @batrachised mentioned a short story from Chronicles of Avonlea which happens to be one of my favorites. The title is 'The Quarantine at Alexander Abraham’s’ and it is a truly great story! Funny, sarcastic, sparkling with humour - truly delightful! It is a pure comedy, yet there is a romance in its best ironic form!
Well, the main characters are in their fourties/fifties and self-proclaimed old maid and old bachelor. Yet make no mistakes - neither of them regrets their unmarried state. Quite the opposite - both take pride in their lack of wedding rings.
'It had always been a matter of principle with me never to do anything a man asked me to do if I could help it. I was noted for that. It saves a great deal of trouble and it simplifies everything beautifully. I had always disliked men. It must have been born in me, because, as far back as I can remember, an antipathy to men and dogs was one of my strongest characteristics. I was noted for that. My experiences through life only served to deepen it. The more I saw of men, the more I liked cats.’
And also:
“Oh, he is the one, is he?” I said, remembering. “He is the woman hater who threatens that if a woman comes into his yard he’ll chase her out with a pitch-fork. Well, he will not chase ME out!”
And yet life happens and brings them together in the most unexpected way. They are forced to live together for some time because of - as a title suggests - the quarantine. Alexander and Peter (who absolutely refuses to be called Angelina) are the best comedic duo and somehow manage to build a home together.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
'Mrs. Allan is famous for her tact. Tact is a faculty for meandering around to a given point instead of making a bee-line. I have no tact. I am noted for that. ’
“Trust a woman for getting into a man’s house if she has made up her mind to,” he said disagreeably.’
“There is no loud call for sorrow, doctor,” I said loftily. “If a woman, forty-eight years of age, a member of the Presbyterian church in good and regular standing, cannot call upon one of her Sunday School scholars without wrecking all the proprieties, how old must she be before she can?’
And the cat/dog scene:
'Call off that dog,” I said warningly to Alexander Abraham.
“Call him off yourself,” he retorted. “Since you’ve brought that cat here you can protect him.”
“Oh, it wasn’t for William Adolphus’ sake I spoke,” I said pleasantly. “William Adolphus can protect himself.
William Adolphus could and did. He humped his back, flattened his ears, swore once, and then made a flying leap for Mr. Riley. William Adolphus landed squarely on Mr. Riley’s brindled back and promptly took fast hold, spitting and clawing and caterwauling.
You never saw a more astonished dog than Mr. Riley. With a yell of terror he bolted out to the kitchen, out of the kitchen into the hall, through the hall into the room, and so into the kitchen and round again. With each circuit he went faster and faster, until he looked like a brindled streak with a dash of black and white on top. Such a racket and commotion I never heard, and I laughed until the tears came into my eyes. Mr. Riley flew around and around, and William Adolphus held on grimly and clawed. Alexander Abraham turned purple with rage.
“Woman, call off that infernal cat before he kills my dog,” he shouted above the din of yelps and yowls.’
Not to mention one of the best love talk in Anne universe:
“You must come back, Angelina. Mr. Riley is moping for you, and I can’t get along without somebody to appreciate my sarcasms, now that you have accustomed me to the luxury.”
“What about the other five cats?” I demanded.
Alexander Abraham sighed.
“I suppose they’ll have to come too,” he sighed, “though no doubt they’ll chase poor Mr. Riley clean off the premises. But I can live without him, and I can’t without you.” (…)
“Where I go, William Adolphus goes,” I said, “but I shall give away the other five cats for—for the sake of Mr. Riley.“
Now isn’t it something!
Have you ever read the story? If so, what is your opinion?
Literally one of LM Montgomery’s best works, and I agree that the ending is truly one of her most romantic. Traveling across the world only to return to the arms of your childhood love? meh. GIVING UP YOUR CAT? that’s true love. right there. no match. no question.
Valancy was fingering her necklace. She was wearing fifteen thousand dollars around her neck. And she had worried lest Barney had paid fifteen dollars for it and couldn’t afford it.
Valancy: I just want something pretty and frivolous for Christmas! :)
Barney: Gotcha. *Paying the equivalent of over $200,000 CAN today*
*Platonically*
The other costs in this book “Valancy spent $30 on clothes” etc are easy to dismiss and you have to say to yourself “remember inflation! That was a lot!” But FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS is HELLA pricey even now. Honestly fifteen HUNDRED dollars is a pricey necklace now. Honestly my broke ass spent $15 on a necklace last week and is still second guessing it.
And then you add in inflation??!
I do always try to remind myself that simply spending money is not an impressive grand gesture from a bajillionaire. Grand gestures should cost you something that matters to you and money - when you have oodles of it - doesn’t matter.
I think what makes this sweet though is that Barney did it knowing he would be confronted with his past again. That’s what the cost was. He also didn’t ever plan for Valancy to even know. I think it’s really sweet that he valued her like that without asking for any glory from it.
And then she wears it traipsing about in the muddy woods and I bet that made him so happy. Like this out of place necklace is his little lonely millionaire heart finally feeling at home in the forest with Valancy.
It’s also so sweet that in 11 years Valancy is the only thing of value he’s found. He’s traveled the world and seen tons of beautiful things and he’s never been tempted to dig into his trust fund.
Unrelated to all literary analysis though - the cynic in me is like “I don’t care how rich you are - why get the real thing when fakes are just as pretty?” I’m not a brand names girlie.
These details are so telling about Dr. Redfern and I love Valancy’s imp.
Dr. Redfern took out a yellow silk handkerchief, removed his hat and mopped his brow. He was very bald, and Valancy’s imp whispered, “Why be bald? Why lose your manly beauty? Try Redfern’s Hair Vigor. It keeps you young.”
“I don’t know. But I don’t think he’ll come before night. Quite late, perhaps. And perhaps not till tomorrow. But I can put you up comfortably. He’ll certainly be back tomorrow.” Dr. Redfern shook his head. “Too damp. I’ll take no chances with rheumatism.” “Why suffer that ceaseless anguish? Why not try Redfern’s Liniment?” quoted the imp in the back of Valancy’s mind.
ALT
